5 Excuses I Use to Avoid Sequels

The weekend is nigh! Your life is already bound for a course of fun and relaxation, so let's throw in some funnies with Front Five Friday. (More)

'Kay I don't need to make this confession, because I'm sure you've heard or noticed that I still haven't read Insurgent by Veronica Roth. Not what you were expecting me to say, eh? Yes, it's truth, my unsuspecting friends, please try to contain your shock if you didn't already know of this. And there are many poor books just like it who face the same dilemma: they can't get me to read them, even if I ALREADY OWN THEM. Now, in the case of Insurgent, you may be thinking something along the lines of



But let me esplain something to you. Sequels can be forces for good. You can look forward to the refinement of an author's writing style, long-awaited quality time with awesome characters, the story continuing and expanding, and, hopefully, the whole experience will be FUN.

They might even be beautiful.



Then there's, well, the shitty side of things. Didn't flush the toilet after shitty, where the sequel is so bad you don't even know how or why you read the first one, and then you remember the first one was SO GOOD. Then, you think, HOW COULD THIS BE?

That crushing disappointment, after you'd waited SO. LONG. for the book is indeed unbearable.



The worst thing about reading a terrible sequel, worse than even that leftover chocolate soup in your toilet bowl, is the buildup of expectations and the dramatic subsequent demolition. Like playing Jenga and losing THE MOMENT you place two fingers on a block. Nothing feels worse than disillusionment, and then the ensuing grief over the loss of that illusion.

And, so, I've come up with ways to convince myself I don't need to pick up a sequel. Yes, all of that was just to get things started. *grins*

#5: "I'm onto you, -INSERTDEVIOUSAUTHORNAMEHERE-, I know your pattern."
One of my favorite things I do to myself (*snickers* I said one of :P) and definitely among the worst I could possibly do is try to predict what the author is going to write in the sequel. Not like I'm Sherlock or some great powerful sorceror or seer. I just THINK that because I read ONE series of the author beforehand, that I KNOW the formula for how every series thereafter will run. Which is undoubtedly a little arrogant, very foolish, and quite pathetic. This is very much a serious problem and character flaw and could act as a strong deterrent, almost powerful enough to get me to stop in the middle of THE INDIGO SPELL by Richelle Mead... thankfully, my brain cells smothered and destroyed that irrational impulse.



Really, though, it's just a poor attempt at a defense mechanism to soothe arising anxiety that is possibly a bit dangerous. But, hey, what's the point if you're not invested, right?

#4: "I'll be sixty twenty by the time I get the next one and/or the following one."
So why should I bother with buying anything now? Starting anything now? It's like I'm asking for the devastation or BRING ON THE FAILURE. And then, what happens if it ends with a terrible cliffhanger or leaves you in the Pit of Despair, where people could be shouting down positivity and hope to you but you can't hear them because you're IN AN UNFATHOMABLE HOLE?

I mean, MAYBE if Allegiant by Veronica Roth were coming out sooner then I might find my way to the liquor store or a friend's basement the courage within myself to finally read Insurgent.

#3: "I loved the [rank here] one so much... so this next one probably isn't that good."
I actually ran into this sly form of self-doubt whilst reading HERO'S GUIDE TO STORMING THE CASTLE by Christopher Healy, which, STOP. Before you say anything, I know. I KNOW. It has nothing to do with trusting the author, not really. Okay, in certain cases, maybe. Although, my GOSH, Healy is a genius... I heard a tiny wicked voice whispering all about the improbability of the sequel living up to the enormous magnificence of the first one. How could my feelings rise that high once again? It SEEMS impossible. Like somebody saying you'll fall in love many times. Possible, sure, but not believable especially when you're a lonely eighteen-year-old who reads during ALL OF LIFE. One time seems so big and important already, imagining more amazing experiences gifted by the same author? Well, that sounds like something to make door-to-door sales. I haven't read THE RUNAWAY KING by Jennifer Nielsen and BOUNDLESS by Cynthia Hand because of this recurring wayward thought.



#2: "I'm not THAT invested."
Oh, yeah, I'm ALWAYS trying to convince myself of that one. Sometimes it is the truth. The first book could be mediocre, decent, or well-written, but when I see a chance at the sequel, I'm not inspired. Yes, whoa, I have self-restraint. Then there are others that are obviously amazing and that I loved in a twisted way Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan *reveals claws* which force me to pretend I don't really care one way or the other for the sake of my tattered emotional insides. So I let time go on until it SEEMS like I no longer have to pretend and I actually don't care. And on the day where my investment is at it's lowest "Unspoken? What's that again?" then I'll read the sequel. Cue bleeding insides afterward.

#1: "I HEARD IT WILL BREAK MY EVERYTHING."


When someone writes, "OMZFG! THAT ENDING," or "YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE THE THINGS," what do you think my response is going to be? A smile and a "Thanks, fellow blogger and book connoisseur, I am now scared shitless" "I'm so scared I don't even know where I am but I think somebody moved me to the tundra in the last five seconds, but thanks for the honesty"? You are batshizz crazy if you think I'm grateful after THAT (even if I secretly enjoy it). I am now about as wary of that book as that frog contemplating hopping over that electric fence over there. And maybe ONE DAY that frog will be stupid enough to try to make the leap and escape a fried future, but that day, my friends, is not today.

And you? How long does it take before you're ready to touch a sequel let alone read one? Do you have any avoidance techniques you've caught yourself doing? Do you think I'm insane? Don't answer that, because I think we both know what the answer is going to be, but seriously pros vs cons on sequels? Yay or flay... the author?

5 Things to Remember After a Bad Ending

The weekend is nigh! Your life is already bound for a course of fun and relaxation, so let's throw in some funnies with Front Five Friday.



Funny, when I was searching up gifs and I found these, there was an advertisement for Unspoken by Sarah Rees Brennan right next to the I DON'T WANT TO KEEP CALM. Coincidence? I think not.

So when I googled things like “How to Survive a Bad Ending” and “How to Survive the End” all I got were stupid tips on how to navigate the apocalypse, zombie or otherwise. All I can say in response to that is this is real life, children, how ridiculously gullible do you think I am? Everybody knows that zombies are unreliable and might never make an appearance. Now, vampires, vampires are what you should be worrying your hairy little armpits about, you stupid men.

Anyway, climbing back over the bridge to relevance, there was one search result that stopped me in my rapid chair spinning. How to Survive a Bad Breakup. The tips are really quite ingenious, I understand why people would get over their broken hearts so quickly after reading this—those shaking shoulders are really signs of suppressed laughter. I’m going to apply five of them to your healing regime when we’re talking about healing from the disaster of a bad story ending.

1. Let yourself grieve because those hours of your life you will never get back. And you can't turn back the clock and make it so you didn't read what you think you just didn't wish you read. Rock in the dark, curl up on your bed, try to make yourself watch the remaining episodes of The Secret Circle even though you really don't want to, whatever you have to do to GET IT ALL out. BUT, yo, whoever said crying isn't manly, they have a point. Crying is spongely, which so much worse SO STOP



2. Because at some point you have to forgive yourself. Forcing yourself to watch a terrible TV show isn't the answer! You were an idiot, you screwed up because you didn't see the inevitable coming and may have even set yourself up for a downfall. But by no means does that give you the right to chain yourself to the couch and watch five hideously rendered episodes of The Secret Circle. We want something metaphorically soothing not upsetting enough that you wish you never had eyeballs in your sockets. Forgive yourself this one or, even in my case, several mistakes, because it WILL HAPPEN AGAIN. I know, I know, the truth hurts your back.

3. Do not drink alcohol when you're a US citizen under the age of 21. Because teenagers with problems NEVER do that. Teenagers never do that period. That would be wrong.



4. Keep yourself busy. Not thinking about that ending, dreaming, procrastinating, eating...

Plotting a coup.

5. Take up a hobby. Remember that feeling of disillusionment and betrayal you felt at the end of THAT book. Whether you were loving or hating the book or not makes no difference when the ending fuels your hatefire either way, the hatefire remains. That's good, excellent even. We're going to need lots of that, lots and lots. Because plotting is the perfect segue to revenge. So if your hobbies include sharpening pitchforks, buying stink bombs, trading for pig's blood then by all means DO YOU. And should any of those hobbies take you to the unsuspecting Sarah Rees Brennan, well then, I certainly won't stop you. After all keeping busy with a hobby is good for your freshly blackened soul.



And remember: this isn't the end of the world, it wasn't your fault, and you are beautiful.

5 Ways To Fight Netgalley Withdrawal

The weekend is nigh! Your life is already bound for a course of fun and relaxation, so let's throw in some funnies with Front Five Friday. (More)

5 Traits You Need In a Blogger Friend

The weekend is nigh! Your life is already bound for a course of fun and relaxation, so let's throw in some funnies with Front Five Friday. (More)

Front Five Friday: The Addict's Guide to Shrinking Your Reading Pile

Front Five Friday is a feature in which I rebel against Top Ten Tuesday—'cause really how HARD is it to pick ten—and pick five things of whatever theme I choose. Because I'm the one rocking the Bossypants, yo. 

The following tips are pieces of wisdom you don't want to ignore. Trust me. I speak from a checkered past. I know what you're up against.

1) DON'T stock up on review copies.
I swear to Bob you've never met anyone more SUBCONSCIOUSLY greedy than me. I don't choose to run around to NetGalley (or so I tell myself) and start clicking away at all the pretties. I just pass by to, you know, YOU KNOW. And then I'm making my way to the Teen/YA listings, then I'm browsing through... It's a vicious, endless cycle. Every time I head over to NetGalley, I request at least a couple. BECAUSE I CAN'T RESIST. I've tried to avoid going there unless it's to post a review, but, like I said, it's subconscious. I don't even realize what I'm doing until it's done.

DO try to be content with what you have. Even subconsciously. You may THINK you don't have enough to read, but when you actually sit down and count what's waiting for you, you're all like


2) DON'T stalk your library for new releases
As a matter of fact, just STAY THE HELL AWAY. Because I find I'm not, and this is subconsciously again, JUST there for brand new releases. I'm there FOR EVERY BOOK I HAVE EVER WANTED TO READ IN MY YOUNG LIFE. Did you know library cards hold up to 50 checkouts? At least on mine. I'll let you imagine whether or not I've taken advantage of that little sunshine clause.

But, even so, you're not helping yourself out by collecting what will be a dusty pile the size of Fuji of new books to read. DO chill out and leave your librarians alone, because they will thank you for it. And you'll find you've stopped owing them scary amounts of late fees :D

3) DON'T get anywhere near ANY bookselling stores
If they sell books at your grocery store, THEN STARVE AND DEHYDRATE. It's for the greater good of your wallet and banking accounts. You don't want to be held responsible for living in a cardboard box with no socks and just your e-reader. (Or DO you?)

4) DON'T let yourself be lured in by e-book deals
I DON'T CARE IF IT SAYS THE BOOK IS $1.99. No means NO.

DO ignore any horrible emails from places like Amazon with all sorts of specials and deals. Remember to just say NO.

5) DON'T keep borrowing books from your friends
I see what you're doing there. You think because this avoids your book buying ban that it's OKAY TO DO THIS. You're wrong. This about your reading pile, and the more you keep adding onto it the more likely you're going to end up looking like

And you really don't want that. DO the right thing and tell your friends thanks but no thanks. Less stress, no mess.

And, sadly, THAT concludes this week's Front Five Friday. I know I talked a lot of game up in this post, but want to hear something funny? I HAVEN'T TRIED ANY OF THIS. True. Story. Anyway, if you have any ideas for next week, let me KNOW IT!

So. What did you think? How long can you last without acquiring any newbie reads? Let me know down in the comments section. Don't be shy!

Front Five Friday: Killed By the Buzz

Front Five Friday is a feature in which I rebel against Top Ten Tuesday—'cause really how HARD is it to pick ten—and pick five things of whatever theme I choose. Because I'm the one rocking the Bossypants, yo. 

There are just certain things that get you off your high. It's like these things are holding invisible pins and your balloon of awesome and excitement gets deflated once this happens. At least mine does.

1) When recommending a book...
That awkward moment when someone comments or tweets and says that they don't like the book you just Special Shelfed. I know, OUCH. You've just publicly declared that you will love this book FOREVAH, and somebody goes, "Meh. This book is too cool for me." They don't just have the invisible pin; they have a sledgehammer.

And there's the nagging worry when someone comments and says, "WOW. I LOVE THIS A MILLION BLOATED HEARTZ. I'm gonna go throw down my guap for this book ASAP." YOU loved it, but how do you know they will? How do you know they won't diss the book, or, WORSE, think your credibility is shot. It's the BIGGEST MIND GAME when people leave those comments, let me tell you.

2) When a book you've been pining is choking on all the tomatoes and banana peels...
The Selection by Kiera Cass, anyone? Everybody and Fred was going up and down saying that this book was so not worth the time. Poor little ol' me was so excited for this book. Stalking it on goodreads. Secretly reading through the author's site. I even posted a cover review! I wanted wine, candlelight, the works with this book and peeps just shot down my confidence to below sea levels. I was destroyed.

3) When you think the series is over...
And then, 7.6 years later, they're like, NOPE. Sorry. We've got another 13.5 book deal in the works and nothing you say is going to stop us.


Well you're not Ryan Gosling SO I WANT IT OVER.

4) When there's a misplaced romance...
I LOATHE romances that are just there for the sake of being there. Because teens don't give a hoot so long as it's there somewhere in the book. WRONG. And adults aren't so easily susceptible either. So, FAIL.

I totally feel like the author is patronizing me. Like I can't tell that you scribbled something in really quickly with your trusty felt pen. Ayo, I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

5) When the covers, especially covers you love, in a series get switched...
Best example? The Nightshade series. And look how well that worked out for those books. I haven't even TOUCHED the second one. It looks worse than fried balogna. The cover, I mean. And it ticks me off how they abruptly change it and then WHAT ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO IF YOU HAVE OCD ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING? Oh, yeah, AND YOU'RE BROKE. These kinds of things can drive a person mad.

And, sadly, THAT concludes this week's Front Five Friday. I know I said I'd be doing Front Five Favorites in which I posted five favorite upcoming releases, reviews, and such, but I think I'm actually going to break it up some into separate posts. If you have any ideas, let me KNOW IT!

So. What did you think? What things kill your buzz? Let me know down in the comments section. Don't be shy!

Front Five Friday: The TV Monkeys After My Bananas

Front Five Friday is a feature in which I rebel against Top Ten Tuesday—'cause really how HARD is it to pick ten—and pick five things of whatever theme I choose. Because I'm the one rocking the Bossypants, yo. 

TV shows, TV shows, TV SHOWS. Can't get enough TV. Reading isn't the only that prunes any chance for a social life. I WATCH ENTIRELY TOO MUCH TV. And I don't mind it one bit. I'm not a dramatic person by nature, nor do I attract any, but I have a taste for watching other peeps' dramalicious lives. The tension, the angstiness, the bickery and Sexy Times, all of that makes these shows worth it. Or, at least, the ones targeted to YAs. And others I just plain love. There's mystery, awesome twists, and so much more that keeps my eyes fastened to the screen.

I am IN NEED of more from:

1) Once Upon a Time - YA'LL. This. Flipping. Show. I have never... Good golly, I've never watched a show with so many nods to the original fairy tales while still keeping it fresh and exciting. I've never watched a show about fairy tales, period. Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold makes me crazy with lust after his character. He is an evil genius. He is bad ass. He's always two steps ahead, and has a very small fire of vulnerability. He is DA BOMB. For serious. And don't even get me started on the Evil Queen/Regina. Sure, yeah, I may want to punch the bish in the face, BUT YO. Bish is fierce AND DEADLY. What I Want to See Next Episode: YOU GUYS. It's the season finale *sobs*. But I WANT EMMA TO BELIEVE. To believe that Storybrook is chockfull of every fairy tale character imaginable. That would be FLY.

2) The Legend of Korra - HOOOOLLLAAA. I am in superlove with this show. IT WASN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE AS GOOD as The Last Airbender. I should be upset, maybe. Because, you know, The Last Airbender was freshness and shizz. It was insanely wonderful and oh gosh I loved it so much. But, peeps, I'm not gonna lie: The Legend of Korra I'm digging a WHOLE LOTS more... and it's only been FOUR EPISODES. What the what, right? But, Korra is the epitome of badassery, the creators TOTALLY UPPED the world-building. And MAKO. No one went wrong with him. He makes me feel... womanly.

3) The Vampire Diaries - CW twisted up the original books AND I THANK THEM. I never really liked The Vampire Diaries books, but, boy, did CW do a fab job adapting everything to TV. They give me boys I adore (DAEMON SALVATORE and Jeremy Gilbert, anyone? AND YO, Alaric Saltzman as a bad boy vampire hunter is THE STUFF.), a romance to root for (Delena, FTW!), mysteries that tense my shoulders, plot spins that make my heart hurt, and beyond EVERY WEEK. There's character growth and seriously steamy Sexy Times. LURVE.

4) Melissa and Joey - THE FUNNY. Oh my G, the FREAKING FUNNINESS. Melissa/Mel and Joey/Joe are one heck of a firecracker for tv comedy couple, let me tell you. The loathing, the sarcasm and dry wit, the physical comedy, and the outright silly outrageous things they say and the banter between them make this show SIDESPLITTING HILARIOUS. The kids are coolness too, but it's Mel Burke and Joe Longo that star the show. WHO'S TUNING IN MAY 30?

5) Jane By Design - This show made me FEEL so MANY THINGS. There's such emotion, quirkiness, and hilarity all mixed up with the flyness of fashion! Jane and Ben Quimby? BEST, most bonded sibling pair ever. I've cried over these two, because they get each other even as they have hardships toeing the line between big brother/little sister and guardian/child. And BILLY. Jane's best friend since they were kindergarteners. Their friendship is so layered, so deep, so intune that you almost CAN'T HELP wanting a romance, yet at the say time you want them to keep the way they are, perfectly intact, totally untouchable no matter the drama. The mean bishes at work and school, the fashion, the opportunities, and the crazy shizz Jane has to pull off keep this show intense, exciting, and just downright fabulous. What I want to know? WHEN THE HECK IS ABC BRINGING THEM BACK?

And, sadly, THAT concludes this week's Front Five Friday. I'm not sure what I'll be talking about next week—maybe current favorite reads? If you have any ideas, let me KNOW IT!

So. What did you think? What TV shows drive you bananas because they are so awesome?What TV show characters would make your top five bedmates list? Let me know down in the comments section. Don't be shy!

Front Five Friday: Old-Timers On My FB List

Front Five Friday is a feature in which I rebel against Top Ten Tuesday—'cause really how HARD is it to pick ten—and pick five things of whatever theme I choose. Because I'm the one rocking the Bossypants, yo. 

When I say, Old Timers On My FB List, I don't mean I approve senior citizens on facebook, because that would be STRANGE, to say the least.  What, or more accurately, who, I'm talking about are the veterans in the war of my heart who've maintained permanent status on my Fictional Boyfriends List for many years now. They know what I like, and how to give it to me right. They make me swoon. They know how to be sensual, sweet, and/or aggressive at just the right moments, and I'm all, Oh baby, Oh baby. They are irresistible bright spots of man, notorious masters of The Sexy Times, and I love them HARDCORE.

(The following list is in no way in any order of how much of a favorite they are.)

1) John Quinn - Back when I first started out being a Serious Reader, I began my entertaining reading adventures with the Nightworld series by L. J. Smith, which remains one of my favorites to this very day, this very second. Just thinking about it gives me motherfriggin' chills and palpitations of the pleasant variety. From books 1-5, I had what you could call fictional flings, passionate and brief love affairs with many of the manly leads, but when I read The Chosen, THINGS GOT SERIOUS, ya'll. My love wasn't effing around at this point, because John Quinn, or more fondly called Quinn, became the whole focus of my 13-year-old world. He's this deliciously vengeful and hateful vampire who thinks very little of humans, until he meets Rashel Jordan. He's strong, a wicked fighter, and all icy charm, until he thaws and becomes something a little softer for his leading lady. "Swoon-worthy" is secretly his middle name. Go on, ask L.J., she'll tell you I'm right.

"I really think you’d better kill me now. Unless you’re too stupid or too scared. This wood won’t hold forever, you know. And when I get out, I’m going to use that sword on you."

"Don’t you understand? As long as you’re human, Night World law says you have to die if I love you. If I love you. And that’s the problem, of course. I do love you."

2) Morgead Blackthorn - I imagine Quinn was very, VERY disappointed in me when he was momentarily shoved aside for Morgead. But. YO. My man Morgead here is in a GANG, son. That's right, a motorcycle-riding, hardcore human killers gang, and he is second in command, ruling over them in Jezebel's stead, who is actually his childhood best friend turned SOULMATE. *grumbles* Lucky bish. He is super powerful, tough, and kind of an obnoxious class-A a-hole but in a ridiculously good way! He looks practically impervious on the outside, but inside his heart is a mushy mess for Jez Redfern, his one weakness, the soft spot he won't admit to.

Whereas Quinn is heartless, ruthless human-hater vampire, more about icy disdain and cold charm, Morgead is stubborn, confrontational, and puts the BAAAAD in 'bad boy.' For real, for reals.

For just an instant neither of them moved; their weapons down, their gazes connected. Their faces were so close their breath mingled.
Then Morgead slipped out of the trap. "Don’t try that stuff," he said nastily.
"What stuff?" The moment her stick was free of his, she snapped it up again, reversing her grip and thrusting toward his eyes.
"You know what stuff!" He deflected her thrust with unnecessary force. "That 'I’m Jez and I’m so wild and beautiful’ stuff. That ‘Why don’t you just drop your stick and let me hit you because it’ll be fun' stuff."

"DON’T YOU DARE DIE ON ME, JEZEBEL! DON’T YOU DARE! Or I’ll follow you to the next world and KILL you."
"I love you, you stupid human," Morgead gasped against Jez's cheek. "I can't live without you. Don't you know that?"

3) Dimitri Belikov - Before Edward Cullen was even a blip in my radar, I was all UP ON the Vampire Academy series—like it was nobody's business that it was like straight-up crack for me. He is mature, a BAD to the ASS fighter, even more so when it comes  to dishing up Strigoi hearts on a platter, and a contender for one of the sexiest tall men alive. He winds down with western novels—a turn on or what?—and he slays evil vampires for a living while rocking the trench coat like YOU AIN'T NEVA SEEN. Throw in the sexy Russian accent and the Older Guy business and he might be My Little Dream Guy. Why don't they make a blow-up version of him? Richelle Mead would make a fortune!

4) Edward Cullen - Ya'll had to see that one coming from ten billion million miles away because I LURVE TWILIGHT, OBVS. What do I love about Edward Freaking Cullen, you ask? He's pale, creepy, old, and he sparkles, you say? Well, I'll have you know paleness is not a disease, okay. I know people who are pretty pale, and what you're saying is not funny. Or fair. And I know he can be a little forward, what with sneaking into Bella's room when she's sleeping and all that, but he's sweetly innocent and adorably curious. There's a difference between psycho stalker and curiosity, people, SHEESH. Old? Age is just a number, baby, and as long as he don't look it, it don't need to be brought up. AND SPARKLY THINGS ARE BEAUTIFUL. The diamondness of his body is to match his dazzling innards, so DON'T HATE.

5) Joe Fontaine - Musical effing GENIUS, french-speaking, ever-smiling, and accepting, Joe is the kind of boy you wish you met in high school. He is sunshine and sincerity and happiness, has a sharp jealous streak, a hurtful past, and is a brilliant musician. His capacity for living and openness and enthusiasm is the perfect route for brightening your day. Just TRY to be around him and stay straight-faced. You won't succeed, I assure you.

"Can I?" he says, reaching for the rubber band on my ponytail. I nod. Very slowly, he slides it off, the whole time holding my eyes in his. I'm hypnotized. It's like he's unbuttoning my shirt. When he's done, I shake my head a little and my hair springs into its habitual frenzy. "Wow," he says softly. "I've wanted to do that..." I can hear our breathing.

Who knew all this time I was one kiss away from being Cathy and Juliet and Elizabeth Bennet and Lady Chatterley? Years ago, I was crashed in Gram's garden and Big asked me what I was doing. I told him I was looking up at the sky. He said, "That's a misconception, Lennie, the sky is everywhere. It begins at your feet." Kissing Joe, I believe this..."That was--" I can hardly form words. "Incredible," he interrupts, "Fucking incroyable."

And, sadly, THAT concludes this week's Front Five Friday. I'm not sure what I'll be talking about next week—maybe tv shows? If you have any ideas, let me KNOW IT!

So. What did you think? Which fictional guys have permanent book boyfriend status on your list no matter how many years fly by? Let me know down in the comments section. Don't be shy!