Reaction to... The Hero's Guide to Storming the Castle by Christopher Healy

TO UNCOVER OR BE COVERED:
THE HERO’S GUIDE TO SAVING YOUR KINGDOM by Christopher Healy definitely won out among many of the covers I adored in last year’s releases, so it’s not such a huge leap to make the conclusion that I adore this second book’s cover just as much. For obvious reasons, such as how beautifully crafted the artwork is, and also for more underlying purposes. I love that the cover of THE HERO’S GUIDE TO STORMING THE CASTLE is perfectly suitable to the ridiculous and hilarious adventures waiting inside, because it’s quite telling of the characters. With one glance at this cover, you should already have an idea of what these stories will be like.

Good. Because that means I’m justified in giving you reproachful glares if you still manage to pass up the opportunity to crack open the cover.

SUMMARY: Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You remember them, don't you? They're the Princes Charming who finally got some credit after they stepped out of the shadows of their princesses - Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White, and Briar Rose - to defeat an evil witch bent on destroying all their kingdoms.

But alas, such fame and recognition only last so long. And when the princes discover that an object of great power might fall into any number of wrong hands, they are going to have to once again band together to stop it from happening - even if no one will ever know it was they who did it.

Christopher Healy, author of the acclaimed The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom, takes us back to the hilariously fractured fairy-tale world he created for another tale of medieval mischief. Magical gemstones, bladejaw eels, a mysterious Gray Phantom, and two maniacal warlords bent on world domination - it's all in a day's work for the League of Princes.

WHAT HAD HAPPENED WAS:
In THE HERO’S GUIDE TO STORMING THE CASTLE we are quickly brought up to speed on the latest happenings since last we were with the League of Princes, and are just as quickly to discover that not much has happened in some time. Nor has there been very much change. You know, one would assume that after defeating an evil witch responsible for the kidnapping of the famous bards in all the land—who are responsible for the misinterpretation of the Princes Charming in each of their respective tales of supposed heroics to begin with—that a little recognition, a little respect for Princes Liam, Gustav, Duncan, and Frederic would be the bare minimum of what they deserve after their individual shows of bravery. But as fiction is prone to showing us, fictional characters, even ones as charming and zany as those we’ve been introduced to in Chris’s incredibly imaginative reinvention, should not expect to get what they want.

A year later, and the bards have still got it wrong, spreading still more exaggerations and partial truths about our poor band of princes. A year later, and Duncan is hard at work on his guide to being a hero, though he remains as adorably random and bizarre as ever; Liam is still scared to return to his homeland where he would no doubt be forced to marry the intolerable Briar Rose; Frederic has reverted to the prince whose qualms were only ever with dust and spotty silverware, unimproved in the art of the sword and terribly likely to cower at the thought of leaving the safety of the castle; and Gustav, well, let’s just say his family and their perception of him hasn’t gotten any better, in fact it’s far worse.

Good thing there’s a small matter of a quest to come, leading the League of Princes right back to each other to pick up again with their disastrous plans and misguided, scattered attempts to save the kingdoms from a pampered, self-entitled royal pain, an eleven-year-old bandit king, and a cruel, evil ruler of a dark foreign land.

WHERE WE GO:
THE HERO’S GUIDE series is sort of what I imagine reading THE PRINCESS BRIDE would be like. PRINCESS BRIDE the film is one of my favorite fairytale-esque parodies, and if ever Healy’s books were made into movies, I feel like that’s what it would be like: varying perspectives, hilarious introspection and misadventures, while still possessing fabulous characters and plot. In STORMING THE CASTLE, so much is coming together at once it could be hard to keep up but it somehow isn’t, even though you could flip from the perspective of one of the Princes to one of the villains fairly quickly and the plot isn’t always chronological. But it works.

What begins as innocent and fun swordplay, with a little teasing at Frederic’s expense, in the middle of the Harmonian palace ends up with an unconscious Liam tossed over the shoulder of a mysterious cowl-wearing kidnapper. Instantly, the adventure flowers before anyone has time to figure out what it’s going to be, with a fast-thinking Frederic hastily sending word for the League of Princes, and uninvited friends, to assemble in the hopes to restore their friend at their sides. But once they regain their unspoken leader, things aren’t as they’d once been and the quest is far from over, so we traverse through various kingdoms and are maneuvered through high-speed wagon chases and impersonate a number of clowns all leading up to the final showdown at the Bandit King’s base of operations/impregnable fortress.

WHO WE ARE WITH:
With Healy’s work this time around, it was slightly difficult to get invested. Every time I tried, I kept getting interrupted. So every time Duncan had an outburst where he formally dubbed a random animal or Liam was hit with a wrecking ball of revealed secrets demolishing his confidence or whatever, people were MAKING NOISE. About how I should be working and not reading, how I should be cleaning and not reading, how I should be eating and not reading. PEOPLE WOULDN’T GO AWAY. Which really pisses me off, since I figure that that has more to do with my small lack of emotional investment than anything that Chris did. He’s so good I don’t even blame him, I blame myself. And every-freaking-one else.

BUT, that didn’t prevent me from noticing some really awesome things. I loved that essentially all the horse poop—Papa Scoots Jr. is the most likely culprit—hit the fan in this installment. We have Liam whose spirit is crushed after learning that the pivotal point during the infancy of his heroism was actually a farce, and is now unsure of every decision he makes, caught in a spiraling span of guilt and doubt. And because of this, I really loved seeing Frederic take the reins in this one. Though an unskilled swordsman he may be, he is an excellent strategist and amasser of loyalties, which proves to be as important a skill as the former. So *MEGA FIST PUMPS*!!

And finally all the princesses have been gathered as well. Although one among them may be a minor villain, it was still fabulous to see these ladies climb aboard this wacky scheme against Deeb Rauber. Yes, they are all perfectly matched to a prince in some way, though not how everyone assumes, but they are NOT just striking accents. They hold their own against each obstacle thrown in the group’s way by their own wit and skill, so DOUBLE YAY.

THE LITTLE THINGS:

1. Deeb Rauber Punishes a Henchman Via Chewed Gum
2. Cinderella’s Heart Drops When Liam Says ‘I Do’
3. Frederic Sees Rapunzel Again
4. Snow White Beans a Few Bandits At the Circus
5. Gustav and Briar Rose Banter With Each Other
6. Little Lila Trains As a Bounty Hunter

Duncan rushed in for a hug, but Gustav sidestepped, allowing his friend to face-plant into a nearby tree. Feeling slightly bad about this, Gustav treated Duncan to a pat on the head. Duncan was satisfied.
"Hey, Mr. Mini-Cape, I see you've got yourself a ride this time," Gustav said, noticing Duncan's horse.
"Ah, yes," Duncan said. "Allow me to introduce Papa Scoots Jr. As you surely remember, the original Papa Scoots ran away last year. I thought I'd never have a horse like that again. But as luck would have it, one summer morning, this fine beast wandered into Papa Scoot's old stable. To make it even more of a coincidence, he looks exactly like Papa Scoots! So I had to name him Papa Scoots Jr. It's like fate."
"Um, Duncan," Frederic said tentatively. "Did you even consider that maybe Papa Scoots just found his way back home? That this is Papa Scoots?"
"Impossible," Duncan said. "Papa Scoots hated me."
And with that, Papa Scoots Jr. kicked Duncan into a bush.

It’s not only a pleasure to read one of Chris Healy’s books, but it’s a warm comfort and a devastation to the stomach muscles, because most of the time there’s nothing but endless laughter. Yes, his stories are imaginative, interesting, and exciting, but nothing beats out that they’re fun, that they’re the kind of books that make me wish my sisters were a little younger so that they would appreciate my reading his books to them (instead of scoffing) and I could get away with doing so without having to come up with excuses. His stories make me want to read them aloud to see who else would laugh, and because I want to share them so much, that in itself proves how much I LOVE HIS BOOKS. He has a way, Chris does, and to think about the wait for the next book in the series is too much torture to have to bear before attempting to sleep at 1am. But, this is a series worth expressing myself over at a hellish hour like this one.

Hardback / 496 pgs / April 30th 2013 / Walden Pond Press / Goodreads / $16.99

I received an ARC of this installment from a publicist at Walden Pond Press.

PFS2012 Book Review: Plain Kate by Erin Bow

Title: Plain Kate
Story Arc: Standalone
Publication: September 1, 2010 by Scholastic
Paperback: 320 pages
Genre: Fantasy, Historical Fiction, Adventure
Age Group: Middle Grade, Teen
Source: Publicist from Scholastic
Excerpt(s): from p. 185
Content: Verbal Shunning, Bloody Attacks and Violence

A long time ago, in a market town by a looping river, there lived an orphan girl called Plain Kate ...

Review: Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy

Title: The Hero's Guide to Saving Your Kingdom
Story Arc: Series, Book 1
Publication: May 1, 2012 by Walden Pond Press
Hardcover: 419 pages
Genre: Fantasy, Fairy Tales, Retelling, Adventure
Age Group: Middle Grade, Teen
Content: Mentions of Kissing
Source: Bought | Quote(s): Yes

Prince Charming is afraid of old ladies. Didn't know that, did you?

Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You've never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change. Rejected by their princesses and cast out of their castles, Liam, Frederic, Duncan, and Gustav stumble upon an evil plot that could endanger each of their kingdoms. Now it's up to them to triumph over their various shortcomings, take on trolls, bandits, dragons, witches, and other assorted terrors, and become the heroes no one ever thought they could be.

Debut author Christopher Healy takes us on a journey with four imperfect princes and their four improbable princesses, all of whom are trying to become perfect heroes--a fast-paced, funny, and fresh introduction to a world where everything, even our classic fairy tales, is not at all what it seems.

Bards don’t know squat about the Princes Charming

It’s no secret that I’m in love with The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy. I’ve been declaring my love and affection on Twitter, on Youtube, for gosh sakes, and there’s a reason for it, my friends. I don’t normally DO middle grade books. I’ve always felt that there was this lack in them that I couldn’t get passed. Sometimes things get a little too predictable, a little too easy, but you know what, I’ve realized this year that I’m full of CRAP. Baskets of crap. Because what the heck do I know? This is my second attempt at middle grade, and for the second time, I’ve been put in my place, and my silly preconceptions about the age group as a whole have been popped and have dissipated into NOTHING, not even blips in my memory. To the point where I’m going to make it my business to pick up more middle grade.

I picked this up after I read this really fabulous review and character interview over at Small Review. I thought to myself, unheroic, endearing Princes Charming setting the record straight? I WANT IN. SO WANT IN. And I’ve been giving The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy these wide, creepy, happy smiles and not-so-subtle dreamy glances. Because, yes, this book is THAT good. Perfect book material, totally. It hits up my two favorite things—fantasy and retellings. It retells the fairy tales you think you know, the ones that I love, and shows you how WRONG they actually are. The Princes Charming totally set the record straight, and you’ll remember their names by the end.

You guys, this is laugh-out-loud narration, wholesome fun, charming, hilarious characterization, and so much more. The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy is about flaws turned to strengths, about a rare, unheroic bunch becoming the real thing, becoming the heroes the bards will remember this time.

Prince Charming is character girl heaven

GOSH, I love these characters. Adore them, treasure them, admire them, root for them. Each of these screw-up princes, with all their flaws, banter, and triumphs, own a mansion in my heart. I have such a soft spot for sweet-natured, curious, oddball Duncan, it’s ridiculous. Frederic is a close second place, making me LAUGH OUT LOUD in wonder and humor over his prissy, prim, and proper dialogue and his amusing prudence, his entertaining OBSESSION with cleanliness. Reading as these two discover their so-called weaknesses and oddities as strengths, as they discover their heroic qualities themselves, as well as the bond of friendship among four unlikely companions, is the purest form of joy and entertainment. I was hooked.

Then, Healy throws in quintessential storybook hero and prince with the dashing good looks and excellent strategist tendencies—Liam—and a prince with a fierce superiority complex and impulsive, reckless act-first-think-later personality—Gustav, and you couldn’t have pried me from this book if you’d offered me your last carton of cookies and cream ice cream. The illustrations just ADD to the whole disarmingly awesome reading experience.

Christopher Healy made me openly share my SNORTS of HORROR, causing shame to my relatives, I was laughing so hard, and I was too absorbed to be the least bit embarrassed. Please, I didn’t have time for that. I was too busy reading about four of the BEST male main characters to enter middle grade/young adult fiction and their quests into No Man’s Land and foreign kingdoms where they fight giants, dragons, witches, and BANDITS. Their adventures absolutely took precedence over EVERYTHING ELSE.

Prince Charming wants his princess back

From losing said princess to the promise of adventure with Rapunzel, to making another feel unwanted and underappreciated, to realizing how nasty YET ANOTHER one is, these Princes Charming certainly have their hands full.

Poor Frederic, after kissing and dancing and proposing to the lovely Ella, has driven her away with his lack of understanding and sense of adventure (his idea of a daring escapade is an outdoor picnic with a new menu to try), and he must overcome his fears of the outside world to chase after her (never mind he leaves with the little knowledge as to how to ride a horse).

Prince Gustav, shamed by his part in Rapunzel’s story and irritated at everyone’s mockery of his heroic potential, has, with his callousness and abrasiveness, sent Rapunzel packing to head in the opposite direction, off on her own in order to use her healing abilities for the good of others.

And Prince Liam? The good, noble prince actually capable of rescuing the damsel in distress, and does, has found himself in quite the pickle. After rescuing Princess Briar Rose from the evil, jealous fairy who cast a sleep spell on her entire kingdom, has witnessed firsthand, and in due shock, her plain (and unexpected) meanness and selfishness and has, with relief, refused to marry her, much to the detriment of his impeccable reputation.

All is not well for these princes, and they find themselves in the same hellhole. None of the bards have remembered their names, and so EVERYONE knows them all as only Prince Charming, and nothing more. Unwittingly stumbling across one another, Prince Frederic and Gustav are the first to unite, Gustav in hopes to finally gain a hero status in helping the helpless, clueless, frightened Frederic in saving the damsel. When that fails, and they seek the aid of the famous Charming whose reputation for defeating a witch FAIRY is widely known, the two seek him out and pick up Duncan as well for their trouble. Their distaste for each other quickly expands to trust, trust to respect and admiration, and eventually the four become protective of one another, basking in their kinship over the horrors of their reputations. They become so heartwarmingly close, and grow to be exactly the kind of people they always longed to be, while forming a brotherhood of sorts worthy of unabashed cheers and fist-pumps!

A fourth character and GIGANTIC hopes for more

Healy’s narration, so laidback and funny and surprisingly modern and natural, feels like a character all on its own. There’s constant foreshadowing and subtle trickery, in which this omniscient narrator fools us into believing the worst, one thing over another, and constantly catches us by happy surprise. His humorous perception of the characters and the goings-on in the novel make things EVEN FUNNIER, if you can believe it. And I look on this voice as a faceless character that I adore almost as much as the rest of the book!

Because The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy is to develop into an ongoing series, you’d maybe think that it ends in a dissatisfying, wide-open, even abrupt, way and that COULDN’T BE FARTHER FROM THE TRUTH. The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy has an ending of perfect proportions, everything tidied up yet still left room for possibilities to stretch, and closes on a happy, high-spirited note in which it’s obvious that continuous adventures are BOUND to come. I want to read the sequel, and every sequel after that, PURELY FOR SELFISH and JOYOUS reasons. I want to read every book after because I am SO IN LOVE with this story and these characters and my seedling expectations for the light romances between the Princes Charming and their princesses.

"This was meant to be. I'm coming with you."
"Oh, for crying out loud," Gustav moaned. "Another one with a cape? And an itty-bitty cape at that!"
"I think it's rather snazzy," said Frederic.
"Why, thank you," said Duncan. "I wanted something that I could swish over my shoulder for dramatic entrances--and yet not get caught in doors."
"All right, fine," said Liam. "We can always use another sword. Are you an good with a blade?"
"Ha!" laughed Duncan.
Liam furrowed his brow. "Is that 'Ha,' as in, 'How silly of you to ask; everyone knows I'm the best swordsman in the land'?" he asked hopefully.
"No, that was 'Ha,' as in, 'I've never even a held a sword,'"Duncan answered. "But I will provide all the flute music we need. Leroy!"
The other three stared at Duncan, perplexed.
"Who's Leroy?" Frederic asked.
"Oh," Duncan said. "There's a bunny over there between those trees. He looked like a Leroy to me."
Awkward silence. (119)

"That's right. We've slept in worse places," Gustav replied. "And you haven't heard me complain once, have you?"
"You complained when I wiped the gooseberries off your face," Frederic said.
"That was an invasion of my personal space," Gustav retorted.
"I'm sorry, but there was a huge glop of berries stuck to your cheek. Was I supposed to leave it there?" Frederic said. (139)

Rating: Special Shelf

I haven’t been this utterly taken with a novel in a ridiculously long time! I feel flushed and excited and SO READY for more. An encore is as necessary as air at this point. The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy has everything from a wholesome, action-packed plot in which these Princes Charming fight off evil witches, dragons, and sly, cunning, feared bandits, and contains characters flawed, huggable, and—this has to be said—charming that it’s impossible to be bored and miserable reading their story. I was dazzled by the fun omniscient narrator, the unique concepts in the plot, the villains and the good guys, and especially the illustrations—I’d never thought pictures so vital before now. I absolutely recommend The Hero’s Guide to Saving Your Kingdom by Christopher Healy for peeps of all ages, and that you not just pick it up for younger relatives and friends but for yourself as well!

OTHER REVIEWS: Small Review Good Books and Good Wine The Book Smugglers

SIMILAR TITLES: The Princess Curse by Merrie Haskell Storybound by Marissa Burt Kat, Incorrigible by Stephanie Burgis

Prince Duncan, Prince Liam, Prince Frederic, and Prince Gustav respectively.

Got something specific in mind? Dare I believe I might NOT have covered something you wish to know? If so, let me know down in the comments section. Don't be shy!

Review: The Arctic Incident by Eoin Colfer

WARNING: If you haven't read Artemis Fowl, book one in the Artemis Fowl series, then it would probably be a good idea to stay away from this review.

The Arctic Incident (Artemis Fowl #2) by Eoin Colfer

The world's youngest, brightest, and most dangerous criminal mastermind is BACK.

Artemis Fowl receives an urgent e-mail from Russia. In it is a plea from a man who has been kidnapped by the Russian Mafiya: his father. As Artemis rushes to his rescue, he is stopped by a familiar nemesis, Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon Unit. Now, instead of battling the fairies, Artemis must join forces with them if he wants to save one of the few people in the world he loves.

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Source: purchased/Own
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Next: The Eternity Code
Challenge: All Male Review Challenge

"I love Artemis Fowl, I love Artemis Fowl," repeats Asher in a sing-song voice. So my favorite antihero has returned! Or rather I've returned for more of him! My first dive into the Artemis Fowl series left me stupefied and amazed. While things were a bit more mellow in this second book, it still packed a pretty hefty punch. I admit, it did take me a bit to submerse myself this time around, but once I'd read a few pages in, the book hooked its claws into me. And I have to say that I certainly missed Artemis Jr., Butler, and their nemeses - Captain Holly Short, Commander Julius Root, and Foaly, LEP's head techie!

Even though Artemis danced to a contrarily mellow tune in THE ARCTIC INCIDENT, his slight shift in demeanor didn't take away from his sheer brilliance, cunning, and inherent dry wit. Artemis is just as devious, as intelligent as before, only in this installment I got a closer look at his vulnerable side. As mentioned in the synopsis, his father's life is at stake, hence the emotional frailty. Still, Artemis isn't a blubber and he most certainly isn't stupid enough to go forth completely unguarded. And despite the fact that it was kind of nice to see that he isn't a total operator, completely devoid of emotions, I missed Artemis's supreme ruthlessness. It makes sense that he's prone to childlike sentiments given his age, but I missed Artemis, the brainy bad boy I know and love. I hope to see his - ha ha - inner Moriarty reemerge.

The action definitely climbed to new heights, which made it all the more intense and entertaining to read! This time part of the threat lies with the B'wa Kell goblin triad, who plan to override the Lower Elements Police force! Not to mention the dastardly threat of the Mafiya, and the chilling fact that their is a wicked mastermind orchestrating the destruction of the LEP! There was extensive goblin-fighting action, radioactive train-dodging, random appendage-severing, and added to that: alliances with old criminals and moments of unexpected heroism from one of my all-time favorite antiheroes!

Speaking of my beloved Artemis, I loved seeing the Holly-Artemis banter resume. There's nothing like watching a know-it-all get punched, again, in the face by his female archnemesis. Whoop! I love Holly! She's shrewd and marvelous at combat - especially when said combat involves guns. Plus, she has ridiculously awesome skills when it comes to piloting just about anything, be it LEP shuttles, wings, anything! I admire her so. Commander Root as comical as ever, though he'd turn beet-red if he ever heard. He's always looking to a pick a bone with someone and unleash his wrath. And I adored Foaly, LEP's technical genius, more than yesterday, as he's doubly equipped with super intellect and a penchant for being annoying. He's arrogant, with cause, and strangely paranoid of assassination and/or Mud Men - human - invasion (o_O). I can't help but love a character who wears a tinfoil hat all the time! And of course I can't forget Butler, who's as terrifying and intimidating as he was before! More than handy in a fight, clever, and honorable, Butler continues to be another of my favorite characters. I was immensely happy to see that he spoke up more in this novel.

Besides the sometimes bothersome pacing, I've got no true complaints for THE ARCTIC INCIDENT. Brimming with all of the best aspects of its predecessor, I'm pleased to report that this second novel did not disappoint. Rather its left me with unshakable excitement for the remaining books. I can't wait to watch Artemis grow not just age-wise but in intellect and as a character. Will he, somewhere along the way, turn into a hero? I'm dying to find out. Just like I can't wait to see a romance flourish between Artemis and Holly. I'm hoping for one - no, it's not guaranteed but merely implied, at least to my eyes. I can sense these things. With seven books already out, I'm more than ready to catch up!

Artemis grabbed her shoulders, for once abandoning his shell of icy composure. "Holly. Holly, speak to me. Your finger. Is it okay?"
Holly wiggled her fingers, then curled them into a fist.
"I think so," she said, and whacked Artemis right between the eyes. The surprised boy landed in the snowdrift for the third time that day. (154)

Review: The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

T h e  L i g h t n i n g  T h i e f  by Rick Riordan

"In this stunning collectors' edition of The Lightning Thief, Percy Jackson’s world is brought to life with eight full-color plates by the series jacket artist John Rocco. The edition comes in an elegant slipcase with a ribbon bookmark, rough edges, and cloth cover—a perfect keepsake for fans of this truly epic series.

After getting expelled from yet another school for yet another clash with mythological monsters only he can see, twelve-year-old Percy Jackson is taken to Camp Half-Blood, where he finally learns the truth about his unique abilities: He is a demigod, half human, half immortal. Even more stunning: His father is the Greek god Poseidon, ruler of the sea, making Percy one of the most powerful demigods alive. There's little time to process this news. All too soon, a cryptic prophecy from the Oracle sends Percy on his first quest, a mission to the Underworld to prevent a war among the gods of Olympus.

This first installment of Rick Riordan's best-selling series is a non-stop thrill-ride and a classic of mythic proportions."

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Source: borrowed/Library
Purchase: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Kindle
Next: The Sea of Monsters
Meme: Forget Me Not

Definitely much better than the movie, if you don't already know. I actually saw the movie first before reading the book, and I can honestly say that, while entertaining, the movie does NOT do this book justice. Riordan incorporates Greek mythology in the most excellent way - it serves as a totally engrossing aspect of the novel, and a fundamental one. The idea that Greek gods and goddesses have demigod children currently living in our world, some oblivious to their own power, is ingenious and - get this - somewhat believable. As in, I could actually visualize this tale occurring in our present reality. It's not all that far-fetched.

12-year-old Percy Jackson is one huge barrel of laughs, that kid is. With this novel being told in first person POV, I really got inside Percy's head and feelings. Some of the things he would say... I cracked up a ton throughout the story! I just couldn't help it. Percy's funny without even really trying. And his reactions to the unfolding events within the book were completely genuine and believable. His resentments, determination, and overall courage completely charmed me. The fact that he's willing to take on this ominous quest, however impure his intentions, and constantly defend his friends, caught me instantly. Percy Jackson is the latest addition to my mental list of amazing heroes.

And Percy's aforementioned friends, Grover and Annabeth, are really great additions to the overall cast. The three of these characters together made a pretty fantastic trio. Although Grover is somewhat of a scaredy cat and is pretty shy, he's sweet, and despite his pressing fears, he continually goes out of his way to defend both Percy and Annabeth. And Annabeth is also brave in her own right, and is incredibly smart. Her dislike of  Percy made for some utterly hilarious scenes. Plus, it's kind of obvious that once Annabeth and Percy grow up a little more they'll become a romantic duo - which I'm extremely looking forward to.

Then there's the dangerous quest the three of them set out on. A mysterious someone has stolen an object of importance from a particularly powerful god who is, understandably, very, very distraught by this. As a result of the theft, war is fast-approaching amongst the gods, one which will undoubtedly force them to choose sides. Someone is cleverly pitting the gods against each other, and it's up to Percy to retrieve the missing object, put a stop to the upcoming war, and convince the gods that they are being manipulated. This proves to be a near impossible feat when you take into account the fact that Percy Jackson and his friends are super young, and have to get to the other side of the country - facing many foes in the process - to track down the source of this raging problem, all the while dealing with meddlesome gods, a lying stepfather who could care less about Percy and Percy's mom, who's more interested in acquiring money, ending in a face-off with the intimidating, fearsome King of the Underworld himself.

Full of adventure, puzzling circumstances, encounters with deadly agents of the Underworld, and that feeling of "a race against time," THE LIGHTNING THIEF is a consuming read that captivated the hell out of me, and has left me with an overwhelming thirst for the sequel. I can't wait to dive into THE SEA OF MONSTERS, and watch Percy continue his journey.

See, bad things happen to me on field trips. Like at my fifth-grade school, when we went to the Saratoga battlefield. I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon. I wasn't aiming for the school bus, but of course I got expelled anyway. And before that, at my fourth-grade school, when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the Marine World shark pool. I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our class took an unplanned swim. And the time before that. . . Well, you get the idea. (2)

Review: Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Artemis Fowl by Eoin Colfer

Twelve-year-old Artemis Fowl is the most ingenious criminal mastermind in history. With two trusty sidekicks in tow, he hatches a cunning plot to divest the fairyfolk of their pot of gold. Of course, he isn't foolish enough to believe in all that "gold at the end of the rainbow" nonsense. Rather, he knows that the only way to separate the little people from their stash is to kidnap one of them and wait for the ransom to arrive. But when the time comes to put his plan into action, he doesn't count on the appearance of the extrasmall, pointy-eared Captain Holly Short of the LEPrecon (Lower Elements Police Reconnaisance) Unit--and her senior officer, Commander Root, a man (sorry, elf) who will stop at nothing to get her back.

"Fantastic stuff from beginning to end, Artemis Fowl is a rip-roaring, 21st-century romp of the highest order. The author has let his imagination run riot by combining folklore, fantasy, and a fistful of high-tech funk in an outrageously devilish book that could well do for fairies what Harry Potter has done for wizardry. But be warned: this is no gentle frolic, so don't be fooled by the fairy subject matter. Instead, what we have here is well-written, sophisticated, rough 'n' tumble storytelling with enough high-octane attitude to make it a seriously cool read for anyone over the age of 10." --Susan Harrison

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Source: NetGalley & Disney-Hyperion
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Next: The Arctic Incident
Challenge: All Male Review Challenge

Um, OH MY FREAKING GOSH! I was unquestioningly blown away by this first book in the Artemis Fowl series. First, before you even begin reading this, make sure you've taken a good look at the cover. That's what had me going, Whoa! That looks so cool! I really wanna read that! Because that, ladies and males, looks like a cunning, 12-year-old criminal mastermind! Now, I'm not really a big fan of middle grade characters, but this book can definitely be enjoyed by all ages!

I HAVE to start with Artemis. First of all, his name. It sounds magical and powerful and suits him so incredibly well... Artemis is indeed 12 years old, but he's a genius. And what's better: he's a bad genius. I wouldn't go so far as to say he's evil, but he's undoubtedly the bad guy. He has the mind, the coldness and determination of an adult, but he has childlike feelings and vulnerabilities, though they are carefully masked. When you think of Artemis think pint-sized Sherlock Holmes, or better, Moriarty - brilliant and devious. He's crafty, extremely perceptive, and, most importantly, he always wins. No matter how one tries to turn the tables on him so to speak, he still manages to win, however unexpectedly. Because even though I knew how intelligent Artemis was, I didn't think he'd outsmart the fairies.

While I'm DYING to get into the world-building and the paranormal side of it all, I haven't raved nearly enough about Artemis, or his muscle, Butler. Butler is this giant bodyguard, who also acts as, you guessed it, a butler. The thing is, the Butlers and the Fowls go back several generations, being paired up from infancy. Which means Butler and Artemis have been partners since Artemis was born, and it's completely obvious in their shared rhythm and understanding of one another. The Fowls have been criminals since the beginning, and their fortune stems from a long line of crime jobs. And some say the noun 'butler' actually derived from this practice between the Butlers and the Fowls. Let me just say, I luuurrve Butler. He's big and strong, generally silent, and kicks a ton of ass.

Moving on, world-building. Colfer did an extraordinary job in painting a vivid picture of this underground society of fairies. But, fairies is just a general term that encompasses the People. In fact, there are elves, dwarves, goblins, centaurs, trolls, etc. The People live Underground, near the Earth's core, where there are cities like Haven built under there. The science and technology that went into the structure of a civilization of this magnitude is astounding. The various routes to get above ground, the networking... I was blown away... These fairies are also Irish-based in that a lot of the myths and common knowledge behind them stem from Irish folklore. But, their old language, Gnommish, is a mix of middle eastern languages and looks like Egyptian hieroglyphics. Colfer magnificently interweaves a variety of myths and folklore, languages, places and so forth to make up his world, which kept me engrossed throughout.

And then there's Captain Holly Short, elf and leprechaun. Well, actually not "leprechaun" as you or I know it, but LEPrecon, an elite branch of the Lower Elements Police. She's spunky, has brains, and can be stubbornly determined. But, her most likable and admirable quality lies in her unerring belief in, and willingness to stand up for, what's right. She instantly forms a dislike of Artemis, and manages to get a few licks in. She even punched him! She popped the Artemis Fowl right in the face. That girl is awesome, and completely dedicated to her job. She knows combat and has insane magical abilities, too.

Continuing, the plot was just as fantastic as the rest! Artemis is after the Book - the faerie-equivalent of the Bible, chockfull of commandments, rituals, spells, and other magical practices, as well as some history that corresponds to our own - so that he can discern the location of the legendary pot of gold in order to reinstate his family's millionaire status. And he goes about it logically, methodically, and most of all, calmly. And by the end, both me and the faeries learn that Artemis Fowl is a force to be reckoned with.

All in all, this tale was masterfully written, and filled with lovable, comical characters, action, advanced technology, and a phenomenal paranormal element to tie it all up. When asked if I wanted to pick up the sequel, I answered with a resounding Yes! I can't wait to read THE ARCTIC INCIDENT!

Foaly was waiting at the pod. Serious though the moment was, he couldn't resist an amused whinny at the sight of Root's belly wobbling ever so slightly in his clinging jumpsuit.
"Are you sure about this, commander? Generally we allow only one passenger per pod?"
"What do you mean?" snarled Root. "There is only one..."
Then he caught Foaly's meaningful glance at his stomach. (87)

God, I love Foaly, the LEP's head techie.